Black Mail
by Arkham Phoenix
Summary: Hungary is beating up Germany, England has an obsession, Italy's making pasta and people are remembering Canada! Why is this happening? Some one is blackmailing the nations. Who is doing this? What do they want? And why- "I'm sorry!" Spain! Shut up already! Two-Shot
1. Chapter 1

Black Mail

**Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or else there would be a lot more Canada and Austria in it. And yaoi…so much more yaoi…  
A/N: WE'RE BAAAACCCKK! Yes, we know we haven't finished out other stories but who cares? This plot bunny attacked us on vacation and kept biting our hands till they got to work writing it out. I know this first chapter is EXTREMELY short, but never fear fellow mortals! The next chapter will completely make up for it! So begin reading….right….about…now!**

One night a lone nation made their way around the world, leaving small peculiar packages on the door steps of his fellow nations. The next morning one by one, the rest of the nations woke up. They gathered their mail as the package marked with their name and **TOP SECRET** written in red across the front. With bewildered looks, they opened the package carefully. A single red pamphlet fell out all with the same heading, slashed across the page.

**I KNOW WHAT YOU DID**

"I'm sorry!"

"Spain, shut-up, you stupid Tomato bastard!"

TBC…

**A/N: So like we said, the chapter is short, but…Oh well. We will update soon with the last chapter which is much long, and I mean a lot longer. Thanks for reading and take care!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey so here's the second and last chapter to this cracky story. Like we said, this chap is a lot longer than the first. Chaos is sure to come so read on if you dare. :)**

**Warning: There's swearing...a lot of swearing**

Prussia stared at the package in his hands.

"What the hell is this?! I know what you did? What did the Awesome me do?" then a picture slipped out of the package and fell to the floor. He reached down and picked it up. A blush crept up his face.

"WWWWEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSTTTTT T!" Prussia paused for an answer but heard none.

"WWWWEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSTTTTT T! Verdammt! Answer me!" Prussia stormed into the kitchen.

"WEST— what's that?" Prussia asked pointing toward the bloody black hat that Germany was holding. Germany looked up startled and threw the hat behind him.

"Wha-was were you saying?" Prussia returned to his own problems and held up the picture.

"Someone's black mailing me!" Germany took the picture and examined it, his blue eyes turning cold.

"So someone knows what you do?" He asked.

"Yes! This is un-awesome! Completely un-awesome!" Prussia raised a curious pale eyebrow when he heard the small whimpers and cries from Germany's dogs in the corner where the hat lay.

"West, was up with your dogs?"

"Oh," Germany stood up abruptly, obstructing Prussia's view, "let's go into the living room to discuss this further, shall we?"

"Ja, we need to get to the bottom of this!"

"Ja, we really do."

Germany ushered Prussia into the living room when the sound of the doorbell ringing resounded through the house.

"Wait West," Prussia pushed his brother away, scrambling to get to the door, "It could be the dummkopf that's blackmailing me!"

"Wait bruder!" Prussia was already at the door pulling it wide open. A fuming Austrian and Hungarian stood outside.

"How dare you!" Austria snapped at Prussia, his face burned furiously as Hungary held her weapon of choice, a frying pan, at ready.

"Was did I do?"

"You know what you did! Don't act like an oblivious Schwachkopf!" Austria yelled, causing Prussia to flinch slightly. Did the Aristocrat figure out his secret? He meant to give it back…eventually.

"I'M SORRY!"

Prussia's eyes grew large at the sight of a sobbing Spaniard sprinting towards them. He tackled Austria to the ground, staining his blue jacket from ushered tears.

"Spain, was the hell?" Austria's eyebrows furrowed from confusion.

"I'm sorry," Spain continued to cry.

"For was?"

"I don't know exactly, but I'm sorry that we our marriage ended badly and that I sided with Prussia during the Austrian succession war. And-and I'm sorry that I ate all the pastries in your house the last time I visited and helped Prussia break in when he needed—"

"You did was?!" the fire returning in the violet eyes.

"I'm so sorry for everything!" Spain clutched harder against Austria, burying his face into the other's shoulder.

"G-get off!" Austria pushed Spain off, "You're ruining my coat."

Austria frowned and Spain flung himself towards Hungary, wrapping his arms around her waist, crying into her apron.

"I'm sorry Hungary for not liking you. It's only because you married Austria. I'm sorry I have a picture of you in my basement which I use as target practice while drunk. I'm sorry I call you lizard behind your back. I'm so sorry! L-lo siento! Ah!" Spain backed away after being smacked in the head by a frying pan. "Ow, I'm sorry, I deserved that."

"Get a hold of yourself. I don't care what you did." Hungary hissed, "I'm here to bash his head," she pointed her frying pan threateningly towards Prussia, "Not yours."

"Muchas gracias," Spain smiled, tears still streamlined down his red cheeks.

"Was is going on out here?!" Germany pushed Prussia back from the door way. His electrifying blue eyes fell on Spain's quaking form. Spain launched himself on Germany's leg, wrapping his body around the muscled limb.

"I'm sorry, Germany!"

"Was, get off my leg!" Germany shook his leg vigorously, but Spain held on.

"I'm sorry about that time when I broke into your room while you were sleeping with Prussia and France and drew on your face. I'm sorry that I told Lovi all these bad things about you. I just wanted him to hate you so he wouldn't run to you like Feli. I'm sorry."

"Spain it's alright, just get off my leg!"

Spain unraveled himself from Germany's leg, turning his attention to Prussia, "Lo siento mi amigo."

"For was?" Prussia smiled, amused by Spain sudden outbursts.

"I'm sorry for getting you drunk that one time, then leaving you at the bar with Russia because he kidnapped you and it's all my fault!" Spain sobbed into Prussia's shoulder.

"You're the one that left me with him!" Prussia shouted, no longer amused. Spain cried, while Austria just shook his head.

"Spain, just leave, we were in the middle of something." aggravation was evident in Austria's tone.

Spain nodded his head weakly and ran off from Prussia's house screaming behind him, "I'M SORRY, LO SIENTO!

"Now, where were we?" Austria returned his attention back to Prussia after they could no longer see Spain's retreating form.

"I don't know, you two just came here and—Ah scheiße, that hurt!" He yelled at Hungary as he rubbed his head where she had wacked him with her frying pan.

"What the hell were you thinking trying to blackmail us?!" Hungary fumed.

"Was? I didn't black mail you…wait…Are you blackmailing me and blaming me for it?!" Prussia yelled accusingly.

"Don't be ridiculous. Why in the world would I waste my time black mailing you?" Austria raised his eyebrow, unimpressed by Prussia's logic.

"Jee, I don't know, 'cause you hate me. Ah! Stop hitting me! It's totally un-awesome!" growled Prussia. Hungary ignored him.

"Austria, we aren't going to get anywhere with just talking to this idiot. Why don't you just let me kill him and our secrets will die along with him. We'd be shooting two birds with one stone."

"I'm not one to resort to violence, but if we must." Hungary turned, a malicious grin spreading across her face.

"Hey, stay away from mein bruder. He didn't do anything against you two." Germany stepped between the homicidal Hungarian and the Prussian.

"Step away Germany and I won't hurt you."

"Nein, Austria, control your ex-wife."

"I can't control Hungary. She'll do as she pleases like always." Austria replied indifferently.

"That's right, you can't hide behind Germany forever Prussia. Now come out and face me coward!"

Prussia scoffed, "I'm not a coward! I'm too awesome to be a coward."

"East, stay out of this." Prussia was silenced by his brother's words, "Hungary, drop your frying pan or I will have to use force."

"Go ahead then, force me!" Without further notice, Germany grasped Hungary's wrist, trying to get her to release the frying pan with no avail. Swiftly, Hungary reached over Germany, locking his head around her strong arms. Germany struggled against her vice grip. Prussia couldn't help but snicker in the back ground.

"C'mon West, haven't I taught you anything."

"Shut-up, this is entirely your fault!" German hooked his leg around Hungary's, tripping her up as he was also pulled to the ground. Both nations struggled against each other, landing blows when they could, and blocking hits from the other.

"Well aren't you going to do something?" Austria looked at Prussia condescendingly.

"Oh, yeah." Prussia got quickly up to his feet, running towards the phone in the hallway. He picked up the receiver, dialing the number quickly. The line rang three times before the person picked up.

"Hello?" a quiet voice said.

"Birdie! I have a question!"

"No Gilbert, I don't not want to see you 'awesome five meters'."

"That was not what I was going to ask! What I was going to ask is—" Prussia was interrupted by Canada's door ringing.

"Hold on a second Gilbert, someone's at the door."

"I'm so sorry!" Prussia raised a pale eye brow.

"Is that Spain?"

"I'm gonna have to call you back…"

"No wait! I need to talk to you!—click— Scheiße!"

* * *

Canada sighed and patted the sobbing Spaniard's back.

"It's okay Spain, now tell me what's wrong."

"I'm so sorry for leaving you to deal with a drunk France last time we all went out drinking and for not always being able to remember you and—what am I doing here again?" Spain have stopped crying and now stood looking confused.

"Idiot…" Canada muttered. Spain looked at him then hugged him again, his sobs once again starting.

"I so sorry for forgetting you!"

"MATTIE!" both Spain and Canada turned to see America running towards them with Japan following closely behind. America launched himself at Canada.

"Mattie! Someone's blackmailing Japan and I!" America continued to yell as Matthew struggled to support the weight of the two nations.

"Oh maple! Why me?" Canada muttered. His problem was then solved as Spain turned to cling on America, removing both from the northern nation.

"America! I'm sorry for letting all my ex-colonies supply your people with drugs! I didn't teach them that! I'm so sorry!" Spin then launched himself at Japan, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry for…for…" Spain pulled back a bit to look in Japan's shocked face, then pulled him close again," for whatever it is I did! I'm so sorry!" the Spanish man then spirited off still screaming apologies.

"What the hell was that?" America asked, "Did Spain lose it?"

"I think so." Canada looked at his brother and Japan questioningly, "So what are you guys doing here, eh? I'm not used to so many visitors at once."

America grabbed Canada's shoulders un-expectantly, "Mattie, you've gotta help me. Someone's playing some sick joke on me."

"Que?"

"Mattie, this is serious! Don't go all Frenchie on me!" America shook Canada to emphasize his point.

"Please America-san, calm down." Japan's placed a soothing hand on America's shoulder, "May we come in Canada-san. There seems to be something unusual going on between the nations."

"Ah, sure, please come in." Canada held his door open wider to let the two nations in, "What is wrong?"

"Have you by chance got an abnormal package in the mail today?" Canada furrowed his eyes brows in confusion.

"Eh?"

"Well America-san and I both got…these packages, and from what I could tell on the phone from Prussia-san is that Germany-san, Austria-san, and Hungary-san all got these packages as well."

"Oh, um…I got one earlier today but—"

"No way, where is it?!" America frantically looked around the house, turning things over until he found the brown package, similar to his own.

"Alfred, don't look at that!" Canada quickly snatched it out of America's reach, "It's private information."

"Aww, come on Mattie, we're brothers aren't we."

"Ah, yeah."

"So show me!" America went to reach for the package again. Yelling from outside disrupted the two brothers.

"Oh mon ange, there's nothing to be ashamed about."

"Shut-up you bloody frog!"

"Iggy!"

"AH! Alfred, you wanker, you're too old to jump on me like that." England staggered to support his weight and the hamburger-loving American's weight, "Bloody hell Alfred, do you only eat hamburgers?"

"Yep!"

"Oi, bugger off!" England let go of Alfred, dropping him unceremoniously onto the ground.

"Ow! Iggy, that hurt!" a pout spread across the American's face.

"Oh you'll survive." England walked over America, entering Canada's house, "I'm sorry to intrude but some bloke had the nerve to send threats to Francis and I."

"It's alright, for some reason when all of you guys are in trouble, you decide to remember me, eh?"

"Oh mon cher, I would never forget you." Francis hugged Canada close. "How's mon petit chou?"

"Same as always, papa."

"Hey! We have other matters to talk about other than Canada!"

England rolled his eyes at America, "What is it Alfred?"

"Iggy, you're here!"

"Yeah so?"

"So, what's your secret?" America's grin grew wider.

"Wot? I'm not telling you! How do you know if I even have a secret?"

"Why do you think we're all here? We're all being blackmailed!"

"You too?

"Yeah dude!"

"Bloody hell! Wait! What's your secret?"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!"

"Wot! No! Why would I tell—" England was cut off by the phone ringing.

"Bonjour!" France had picked up the phone, "Oh hello Russia, what was that?"

"Russia?! What does that fucking commie want?" Swiftly, America got up and pressed the speaker phone option. The Russian's voice resounded through the room.

"Is that you America?"

"Why the hell do you have my brother's number…Mattie you two aren't…"

"No! Alfred!"

"Oh thank God!"

"Can we get back to the matter at hand, bloody hell?" England averted his attention back to the phone, "Wot's wrong Russia?"

"I'm being blackmailed and I know one of you are behind it, da?"

"Wait, you're being blackmailed too?" America yelled before anyone else could say anything.

"Yes, we both are aru."

"China?!"

"Wot is going on around the world?" No one could answer England's question.

"That's it, world meeting at Canada's house!" screamed America.

"What?" Everyone ignored Canada.

"Alright, we'll be right over aru." China hung up the phone. He looked over at Russia, concern written across his features.

"It will be alright, my sunflower."

"I hope you're right aru." Russia went to embrace China when a knock interrupted the intimate moment.

"Who could that be?"

"I'm so sorry!"

* * *

"GERMANY!" Italy screeched as he ran across Switzerland's front lawn.

"Damn it fratellino! You don't need that damn potato-bastard!" Switzerland stared at the two Italians that that were running across his yard. Aggravation ran through his blood dangerously. It was bad enough someone knew his secret, but the last thing he needed were those damn Italians trespassing once again.

'_Well at least their wearing clothes this time.' _Switzerland tried to think on the positive side to calm his nerves but it was in vain. He grabbed his shotgun that he always carried and aimed it at the Italians.

"Get out of my country!" he yelled and shot at them.

"But Switzerland! We need to get to Germany's house because someone's blackmailing us!" Italy cried as he dodged the bullet.

"We don't need that potato eating bastard!" Romano yelled. Switzerland lowered his gun, shock eminent in his emerald eyes.

"You're being black mailed too?" he asked in disbelief.

"Ve- yeah! That's why we are going to Germany's house! I'm sure he'll know what to do!"

"Fine I'll let you through just this once, but I'm coming with you. If multiple nations are being blackmailed we could have a serious problem." Switzerland moved to join them when a sobbing Spaniard tackled him to the ground.

"I'm so Sorry!"

"What the hell Tomato bastard! Let go of Switzerland!"

"Get off me before I blow a hole through you!"

"I'm sorry! Lo siento!"

* * *

After dealing with Spain the three finally made it to Germany's house. Italy rapidly knocked on the door.

"GERMANY! PLEASE OPEN UP! SOME ONE'S BLACKMAILING ME AND I NEED YOUR HELP!" Italy continued to knock on the door till Prussia opened the door, and then continued to knock a few more times on Prussia's face. Prussia jumped back clutching his nose and glaring at the small Italian.

"What the hell Ita-chan!"

"Don't call my brother that Potato eating bastard's brother. Where's the potato bastard? We need to talk to him." Prussia pointed over his shoulder to where Germany and Hungary we fighting and Austria was just standing there watching them.

"What the hell are they doing?" Switzerland asked.

"Hungary wanted to kill me but West got in her way." Prussia explained.

"We don't have time for this!" Switzerland raised his gun and shot in the air. Hungry held Germany in a head lock and looked up at the shotgun now being aimed at them.

"Stop this fighting. It won't solve anything." Switzerland commanded, but Hungary ignored it.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked.

"We are being blackmailed! This idiot", Romano pointed to Italy," thought that the potato bastard would be able to help."

"You're being blackmailed too?" Austria asked surprised.

"Yeah! Some bastard had the nerve to Black mail us! When I find out who I'm gonna send the Mafia on their asses!" Suddenly all their phones went off.

TO: EVERY ONE

FROM: AMERICA

WOLRD MEETING AT CANADA'S HOUSE DUDES!

"Who's house?" Germany questioned through Hungary's hold.

"It's America's brother, mein gott West." Prussia rolled his eyes before his phone buzzed again.

Turkey: Where?

America: You know, the country on top of me.

Prussia: Keseses, really America? I thought you would be the one on top.

America: Well, he is the second largest country in the world….

"Kesesese!" Prussia snickered before texting: America you lucky bastard. I knew you liked it rough.

America: I wouldn't have it any other way ;)

Canada: I hope you all realize that this conversation is going to everyone's phone

"I don't get it." Feliciano looked at the text messages with a puzzled look, "Mama, what does that mean?"

"Nothing Feli, it means nothing that concerns you." Austria answered, ignoring Prussia's cackle.

"Mama?! Mama Austria, aww how cute!"

"Shut-up dummkopf!" Austria fumed, "Let's just get to the meeting shall we?"

He fixed his blue coat, still drying from Spain's tears. Hungary let go of Germany, sending him a dirty look before grabbing Feliciano's arm to pull him out of the German's house.

"Come on Feli."

"Yes Papa." Feliciano grabbed for Austria's hand who took it. Austria saw Feli's upset look.

"What's wrong Feli?"

"Nothing Mama." Feli felt the cold metal bands in his pocket. He couldn't meet the Austrian's violet eyes.

* * *

About an hour later the world was seated inside Canada's house. Suddenly America spoke up.

"Alright, who's the bastard that's doing this?!"

"Doing what America?" Finland asked.

"Oh don't play dumb with me! Someone is blackmailing us and they better come forwards or I swear I'm gonna nuke you all!"

"If you nuke us, we'll nuke you!" Iran exclaimed.

"Not if I nuke you first!"

"Guys! This isn't getting us anywhere! We need to work together to figure this out. So to start, who got blackmailed?" Germany asked. America, Canada, Japan, England, France, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, Hungary, Prussia, China, Russia, Italy, and Romano raised their hands.

"So that's Fourteen people? Then—"

"I'm sorry random citizen!" They heard from outside. Spain then burst into the room.

"I'm so sorry every one!"

America face-palmed, "Not this again…"

"Spain what are you apologizing for?" Germany asked.

"Well I got this package this morning and it said it knew what I did and-and I don't know what I did!" Spain explained.

"So you're just apologizing for everything? Wait was there anything else in the package?"

"NO! It just said I know what you did!"

"Spain, I think someone is just messing with you. I think they are messing with all of us." Germany gestured to the other fourteen people in the same predicament.

England inwardly sighed, feeling his stomach clench with dread, "As much as I hate to say it, I think we need to share what the black mail is."

"Alright then Iggy, you go first!" America grinned, anxious to hear what England's secret was.

"Wot? Why me?!"

"Because you suggested it now fess up!" All the nations sat straighter, all leaning in to hear what England could be hiding. England's face reddened, embarrassed by what he was going to say.

"Alright then…I-I have th-this shrine…"

"For…" America pried while England muttered something incomprehensible, "What was that Iggy? I couldn't hear you."

"I said for…"

"Honestly mon ami, follow your heart, it will all be fine."

"Shut-up frog, if I was following my heart I'd get the bloody hell out of here!"

"Iggy, you're getting off topic." a teasing grin was smeared across America's features, "Come on Iggy."

"Alright, it's of Turkey!" The room fell silent.

"Wha-what?" Turkey's face paled, almost blending into his mask, "Why, why would you—"

"Because I like you and I don't know why!" England yelled, clearly aggravated, "I don't know, maybe it's the way you're always wearing a mask. I've never seen you without it. I-I find it kind of mysterious an-and alluring."

"For how long have you had this?"

"I-I've had it for a while now."

"How long?"

"Maybe since the mid 1500s?"

"Wooo, that's a long time," America whistled, "Wait, wasn't that while you were a pirate?"

"Yeah…Why?"

"Nothing, carry on with your love confession."

"Shut-up you git. Why don't you go next America?"

"Nah, Turkey hasn't given you an answer yet."

"An answer to wot?"

"So Turkey, will you go on a date with our stick in the mud England?" all heads turned to Turkey. Turkey sank lower in his chair. His face burned red.

"Um…"

"It's okay," England lowered his head, "I understand if you say no."

"I-I wasn't going to say no." Turkey quickly said. England's head shot up.

"Wot?"

"I-I don't know. I've never really felt that way towards you…but if you like me then I don't see why I can't try."

"Please Hungary." Austria handed the Hungarian a handkerchief for her bloody nose. England beamed up at Turkey, a light pink hue lined his cheeks. America hadn't seen the older nation's emerald eyes sparkle before and grinned at the sight of it.

"Awww, Iggy and Turkey sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N—Ah!" England smacked America on the back of his head.

"Shut-up, I'm in too good of a mood to beat you up right now. Now say what your secret is."

"Well…ah, i-it k-kind o-of—"

"Speak properly you dolt."

"I'm not an idiot! Do you know what the highest recorded IQ is?" dead silence, "The highest recorded IQ was made by an American in September of 1956. Do you know what she scored? Well times it by three and you'll have mine."

"Impossible…Prove it!"

"Well…"America pulled a chalk board out of nowhere and started to write complex equations across the board, "The elements of the human body are quite simple. I have found a way to create super humans. The proteins in the DNA can be genetically enhanced by adding the protein creatine which is a nitrogenous organic acid that naturally occurs in vertebrates, and help to supply energy to all cells in the body, predominantly muscles."

"What is he saying, Japan?" England whispered to the Asian.

"How should I know?"

"You're the smart one!"

"No I'm not!"

"But what about all the technology you have?"

"America-san gives it to me!"

"Why?"

"So then you over estimate him and under estimate me." America smiled; the nations were speechless, "Any questions? No…okay." America erased the board and sat back down in his seat.

"So you and Japan have been working together?" Russia spoke up.

"Yeah, but what's it to you stupid commie?" America growled.

Russia sighed, "I haven't been a communist country for years, America. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Well I'm still calling you a commie, red. Now tell us your secret."

"If I tell you I will have to kill you, da?"

"You can't kill me! I'm the United States of Fucking America! You try and I'll nuke your ass!"

"Even though you're a genius, you're still America…" England muttered.

"Yup! Now Russia, your secret if you will…" America said excitedly.

"You have to promise not to get angry, aru…" China cut in.

"Why would I get angry?" America asked.

"Well…you know Alaska, aru?" China said.

"Yes…"

"She's mine and Russia's daughter, aru."

America gasped, "Then why did Russia sell her to me?"

"We needed a spy at the time." Russia explained.

"What…but…did anyone else know about this!?" America exclaimed.

"Comrade Matevy did, he promised us to watch over her while in your care."

"Mattie! How could you help those commies?!"

"Did you really think I would leave an innocent child alone in your care? I know you're great with kids but I've seen how your other states turned out. All of them are a bit crazy except Maine and that's only because I helped you raise him."

"Mattie…is that your secret? I thought we were brothers…" America said, a heart broken look marred his features. Texas sank lower to the tip of his nose as his tearful blue eyes bore into Canada's violets.

"No that's not my secret…my secret is that we're not actually brothers…in fact we're not related in the slightest…" Canada trailed off as America tackled him to the ground and started to shake him back and forth wildly.

"How could you! You were my brother! My little brother! And now you tell me that you're working with the commie bastard and…and that you're not really my little brother…" America trailed off into choked sobs.

Canada rolled his eyes then patted Alfred's back, "Calm down Alfred…I…just…always wanted an older brother like you…Some ones whose strong and kind and heroic..." America seemed to brighten with each word, "and since everyone thought we were brothers and we were raised together I just thought that…maybe…blood didn't matter?" Canada's voice rose to a higher pitch on the last part but America paid no heed to it. America pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"And you're not helping Russia?"

"No, I'm not helping Russia."

"Or China?"

"Or China" Canada confirmed. America smile and pulled Canada back into a tight hug.

"I knew you wouldn't betray me like that Mattie! And it's not like you were only pretending to be my brother so you could get close to me and take me over!" Canada froze in America's arms.

"Take—take you over? Never! Nope, not in a thousand years, c'mon Alfred, eh? We might not be brothers by blood but I believe we are at heart."

"Aww Mattie! Yeah we're bros." America continued to hug Canada closely while Canada patted America timidly on his back. The other nations saw through Canada's mask, but decided not to comment. The last thing they needed to do was anger the over emotional super power that could possibly nuke them to a pulp.

"So," America sniffled, looking around the room, "who's next?"

"Ve— I'll go." Feli's smile vanished from his once forever beaming face.

"Italy, are you okay?" Germany questioned concerned for his friend, but Italy just solemnly nodded and reached into his pocket. From there he retrieved two golden bands, placing them on the table for all to see.

"I-is that my wedding band?" for once Austria was incoherent.

"I'm sorry Mama, but…You see, when I was little I was only cooking and I was trying to experiment with different ingredients, ve— and so it turned out to be much more. I fed it to big brother Spain and…and it made him fall out of love with you…I'm so sorry..." Austria and Spain were both speechless from utter shock, "And then I sometimes used it for convincing the Allies to let go of me during the world war and…" Feli took a side long glance at Lovino.

"And what Italy?" Germany pried.

"And…" Italy started to cry, "And I use it to help Lovino drug Spain into loving him…I'm s-sorry." Feli choked out. Spain's hand shook when he went to retrieve his old wedding band. The metal was warm against his fingers. He slowly slipped it on, reminiscing in the days he was married.

"Where did you get these Feli?" Austria had retrieved his old ring as well, clutching on to it tightly. He never thought he'd see it again after the day he threw it into the Wein river after the divorce.

"It c-came with the package, I'm sorry." Austria turned away from Feli while Spain looked at Lovino accusingly.

"Y-you drugged m-me?!" His voice was trembling. Anger flowed through his veins.

"N-no tomato bastard, why would I do that? I don't even know how to do that. Feli drugged you. I have nothing to do with this!" Romano exclaimed and backed away from Spain.

"I only drugged him cause you said you'd tell him and Mama that I'm the reason they broke up!" Feli broke out into sobs again. Spain stepped towards Romano when the door burst open.

"Mon Dieu mes amis, Je suis désolé that I'm—" everyone turned to see the new person that had walked in. Their eyes widened when the person looked exactly like France.

"Oh…this is awkward…" The new France shifted his footing, looking down on the ground.

Francis face-palmed sighing inwardly, "Well, I guess my secrets out."

"You had a twin brother and didn't tell me you bloody frog!" England gripped Francis by the open collar of the other's shirt.

"Why would I tell you?"

England stopped, honestly he didn't have a come back to that one, "Because…because we've known each other since we were kids. That's why! I thought we told each other everything. You knew about my Turkey shrine."

"Well I thought you would be able to tell the difference from me and my brother. We both have hung out with you…just not at the same time. Arthur, everyone, this is my twin Francois."

Francois waved at everyone cheerfully, "Bonjour everyone! Je m'appelle Francois."

"Hi Francois." the nations chorused.

"And I'm secretly trying to take over all of Europe."

Silence was followed until Germany mumbled, "Join the club."

A few nations looked at Germany while others laughed and the rest of the Germanic nations rolled their eyes. They knew he wasn't kidding.

Francois went to sit next to Canada, ruffling the blonde's hair up adoringly, "Salut Mathew."

"Hello Uncle."

"Uncle?!" America sprang from his chair, "Do you just know everyone's secret?"

"Wait, were you the unawesome person who's been blackmailing all of us?"

Canada rolled his violet eyes, "No Gilbert, why would I black mail myself?"

Prussia gave Canada a suspicious glare, but let it go.

"Prussia, stop blaming other people! I know you're the one that's behind this." Hungary raised her frying pan, getting ready to strike the albino.

"Was?! No, I wasn't!" Prussia dodged the blow.

"Then what's your secret?"

"I-uh…um…"

"Well?" the Hungarian raised a questioning eye brow.

"Argh, fine!" Prussia started unbuttoning his Prussian blue uniform.

"Mein Gott, don't strip here!" yelled Austria.

"Would you shut-up and just enjoy my awesomeness…even though this might not be so awesome." Prussia continued to unbutton his shirt. He removed it completely to reveal a navy blue corset accented with bright red trimmings. He reached into his pocket to retrieve a small garment. He unfolded it and put it over his head. It was a small dress that came down to his lower thigh. He removed his pants to complete the look as the room was silenced once again. Prussia stood there for all to see in his simple navy blue dress. The corset help give his body curves that it normally wouldn't have.

"Is…" Austria cleared his throat, "Is that my corset?"

"Uh…yeah." Prussia's lips curved in his usual smug grin, "I broke in and found it among your other corsets, but I liked this one the best."

"Like oh my God, that is like such a cute outfit. Where ever did you like get it?" Poland was the only person smiling in the room at that point.

"Oh I found it online. It's where I get all my clothes because going into a store and buying a dress gets ye some weird looks sometimes." Prussia answered.

"You look good mon ami." Francis commented…or was it Francois? Oh this was going to be confusing.

"Danke Francis," Prussia took his seat, "So Specs, what's your secret."

The Aristocrat looked down at his hands, nervous about what he was about to admit, "I, well long ago I had a concert, and in the middle o-of one of the songs…my hand slipped."

"Was? You messed up?" Prussia was out of his seat, grinning widely at the Austrian whose violet eyes were fuming.

"Shut-up you dummkopf! As I was saying, I messed up. I was mortified and never played again after that."

"But you play all the time. I see you at your piano all the freakin' time."

"Well I…I have an old recording that I play so it seems like I'm playing. I haven't played for so long that I have forgotten how to play. That is my secret. I-I can no longer play the piano."

"B-but you were so beautiful." Hungary looked at Austria with sad eyes.

"Yes, I suppose, but things come and go. I try not to dwell on it any longer." Austria looked indifferently as he picked at some nonexistent dust on his blue coat. Hungary patted his shoulder soothingly.

"Hungary," the Hungarian looked up at Prussia, "you haven't let you your dirty little secret yet."

Green eyes narrowed dangerously at ruby ones, "Can't you see I'm busy at the moment."

"Was? Babying Austria, he's a grown man, he can take care of himself. Now spill it, anyway I think the Priss might want to hear this one."

"Shut-up." Hungary hissed.

"Oh?" Austria looked at his ex-wife confused, "Was is he talking about?"

"Don't mind him. He doesn't know what he's saying."

"Oh I know exactly what I'm saying." Prussia grinned viciously. When Hungary remained silent, Prussia continued to talk, "Austria, remember that day when Silesia was taken from you?" Austria nodded, "Well, it wasn't me who stole it."

"Was?" violet eyes were filled with bewilderment.

"I didn't steal your vital regions, Hungary did!"

Hungary rose from her chair, slamming her fist against the table, "Why you little—"

"Is that true?" Austria cut off Hungary. Hurt was evident in his violet orbs.

"Wha-what?"

"Is it true?" The Austrian repeated.

"Um…"

"Why? Why would you steal my vital regions?" Austria's blood was starting to boil.

"I-I…I wanted a part of you…and I wanted that p-part of you." Hungary hesitantly answered. She slowly sat back down thoroughly embarrassed. Austria's cheeks reddened and he turned away from Hungary. Too much has happened today.

"Honhonhon," Francis chuckled. The rest just shook their heads.

"Well I think that's everyone right?" England looked around the room.

"Wait, Germany, what was your secret?" Italy looked up at his German friend. His tears had dried as he was smiling once again.

"Um…well…I…do I have to say it?" Germany stuttered.

"Come on Germany! It can't be that bad!" Italy said, throwing his arms around his neck and snuggling his face into his shoulders. Germany looked down at the Italian and sighed, reaching into his pocket he pulled out the tattered remains of a black hat and threw it on the table. Italy slowly picked up the hat, caressing the edges softly. He then looked into Germany's face.

"You're…you're Holy Rome?" he asked, his usually unopened eyes brimming with hope.

"No…I killed Holy Rome." The world stared in shock. The smile left Italy's face and tears filled his eyes.

"Feliciano, please let me explain…" A loud slap echoed around the room. Italy stood with his hand still extended. Red dashed his cheeks from fury at the other nation.

"You…YOU! You killed Holy Rome and expect me to waste my time letting you explain yourself!"

"Please! Feli…try to understand—"Italy cut him off.

"Try to understand what? How you could kill him and still have the audacity to walk around wearing his face, and talking to me smiling, saying we're friends?!"

"Feli, I-I love you." Feliciano bit his bottom lips to keep from crying out loud; his extended hand moved to cover his lips from emitting a choked sob, "I love you and I've loved you ever since I saw you running around with my brother in your little maid outfit. I couldn't help myself, I-I…My brother had everything. He had an empire, power, and most of all he had you. He didn't even know you were a boy!"

"He-he promised he was going to come back. D-do you know how long I've waited for him? How many endless nights I've stayed up in that meadow for him?" Italy cried, tears streaming down his round cheeks. His brown eyes opened for the first time in a while, glaring at Ludwig with disdain, "I should have opened my eyes up a long time ago for now I see the true monster you are."

"F-Feli…" Italy pushed Germany aside, walking straight past him and out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

"Way to go potato bastard. I knew I didn't like you for a reason." Lovino stood up to follow his twin out the door.

"So uncool bro." America shook his head, "C'mon Mattie, let's go home."

"What are you talking about? I am home…and I thought your secret was your high IQ." Canada muttered the last part.

"Let's go to my place then, god Mattie, besides I have ice cream."

"Maple ice cream?"

"Yeah, duh." America pulled Canada out of his own home.

"I think that's enough excitement for me." England stood up awkwardly, "I think I'm going to head home."

"I'll walk with you." Turkey stood from his seat, "We can get to know each other on the way."

England smiled, "I'd like that."

The two left followed by many other nations.

A light hand rested on Germany's shoulder, "Stay away from Feli for a while Germany. He'll come around eventually."

"Danke, Austria." The Austrian nodded.

"Um, Roderich." Austria turned to see the emerald eyes of his Spaniard ex.

"You aren't going to apologize again are you?"

"No, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for coffee, maybe catch up."

Austria looked stunned for a moment but then smiled genuinely, "Ja, that would be lovely, Anton."

Antonio beamed at the sound of his old name the Austrian used to call him. They both left together, their rings back on their finger, and hands intertwined.

"Oh mon ami, what amour makes us do." Francis chuckled with amusement.

"Yeah, good luck Germany." Francois smiled, "Hey mon frère, want to go get a drink?"

"Oui, though make sure the waitresses look nice. Last time they were horrible."

"That was because you were trying to hit on them, mon dieu, you can be such a pervert." Francois rolled his identical blue eyes, hanging his arm around the other's neck.

"Of course, I'm Francis."

"Oui and I'm Francois." The two blondes chuckled at their little inside joke, leaving the house.

"Don't get too down Germany," Germany looked a bit shocked at Russia, "We'll all be together eventually when you all become one with Russia, da?"

"Danke Russia."

"Come on aru." China grasped the other's hand, "I think it's about time we visited Alaska."

"Da, my sunflower." The two left to meet their daughter they haven't seen in a while.

"I'm sorry Germany-san. I hope you and Italy-chan make up." Japan's dark eyes looked sympathetically at his old time ally.

Germany nodded, "Danke—Ah!"

Hungary smacked him over the head with a frying pan. She looked at him crossly, before turning and pulling Japan with her. All that was left was Germany and Prussia. Prussia shook his head a bit disappointed, but said nothing about it.

"C'mon Ludwig, it's been a long day." Germany nodded.

Sweden walked home with Finland, a worried expression crossed his face at his wife's laughter.

"Tino, what's so funny?"

"Oh nothing dear, I just went trolling."

The End…?

Back in the Canadian's house a lone nation still sat silently, keeping his head down. When all had left, he looked up, green eyes were filled with amazement. He silently chuckled, almost crazily.

"They-they never asked me…Yes! Now Liechtenstein will never know I crippled her!"

"Um, big brother," Switzerland turned around, his emerald eyes widened in horror.

"Shit!"

**A/N: Sorry for the not so cracky ending but…Oh well. Thanks for reading and reviews make us happy so if you don't mind, please leave your awesomeness in that white box at the bottom of the screen. It would be greatly appreciated. Take care and thanks for reading!**


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